


Anything But Gentle

by yuuki



Series: Anything But [1]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon Compliant, Confessions, Fluff and Angst, High School, M/M, Mutual Pining, My First Work in This Fandom, Now kith, Oikawa Tooru's Knee Injury, Pining, Sharing a Bed, and idiots, i love them very much, no Nsfw, oikawa tooru is dramatic, really this was just a writing practice, they are soft and gay, very soft
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-26
Updated: 2019-12-26
Packaged: 2021-02-26 12:28:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,003
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21969325
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yuuki/pseuds/yuuki
Summary: The way he kissed was nothing like the way he did anything else.He was tanned skin and paper white scars, and he was rough, and he was brutish, and he was hard edges. He was nothing short of a hurricane.He was not fingertips ghosting over pale skin. He was not shivers and gasps breathed into a dark room.Gentle was the last word anyone would use to describe Iwaizumi Hajime, and yet, at that moment, it was the only word coming to Tōru’s mind.———Tōru is pining hard, and he thinks he has no chance of Iwaizumi reciprocating his feelings.Turns out, Iwaizumi thought they were dating this entire time.
Relationships: Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru
Series: Anything But [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1581946
Comments: 24
Kudos: 311





	Anything But Gentle

The way he kissed was nothing like the way he did anything else. 

He was angled eyebrows and a mouth always turned downward. He was thick biceps and powerful thighs. He was calloused hands and sharp spikes. He was tanned skin and paper white scars, and he was rough, and he was brutish, and he was hard edges. He was nothing short of a hurricane. 

He was not fingertips ghosting over pale skin. He was not shivers and gasps breathed into a dark room.

Gentle was the last word anyone would use to describe Iwaizumi Hajime, and yet, at that moment, it was the only word coming to Tōru’s mind. 

Tōru couldn’t think about anything other than the way Iwaizumi’s lips felt under his jaw, the way his fluffy hair tickled his ear. He grabbed fistfuls of Iwaizumi’s shirt in his hands, feeling like it was the only thing he could do to remain tethered to this world. 

Iwaizumi huffed a laugh against Tōru. “You good?” 

“Such a tease, Iwa-chan,” he replied. “It’s like you’re barely there.”

Iwaizumi brushed another featherlight kiss against Tōru’s skin, almost as if he believed Tōru was so fragile he’d break him if he was too rough. “I just like to see you squirm.”

“How rude,” said Tōru, but his words turned into a shaky gasp halfway through so they had no seriousness behind them. 

Suddenly, Iwaizumi pulled away with one last kiss pressed against his lips. “We need to finish our English essays.” 

Tōru glared at Iwaizumi, feeling cold rush in at the loss of contact. “That’s what we were doing until you started this.” 

Iwaizumi shrugged and sat back on his heels. “Not my fault.” 

Tōru snorted. “Huh! How’s that, Iwa-chan?” 

“You’re more fun than writing English essays, is all. Not my fault English is so boring and you’re so distracting.”

Tōru sighed, feeling his heart plummet. No matter how many times he told himself not to get his hopes up, his heart would still race with nerves only to drop suddenly and leave him buzzing with bitter disappointment. 

That was the game he and Iwaizumi played. Iwaizumi would say that he was only teasing Tōru because it was better than whatever the alternative was, and Tōru would just go along with it because he was weak and he was selfish. 

He knew that was the real reason Iwaizumi never put any pressure behind his kisses. If he kept his touches weightless, it eliminated any possibility of leaving a mark on Tōru. That was the last thing he wanted. 

“Right. Let’s just finish these essays before I have to leave, otherwise yours will be terrible.”

“Shut up, Shittykawa!” said Iwaizumi as he whacked Tōru with a pillow. 

“So mean, Iwa-chan!” Tōru responded, giving Iwaizumi a pout. 

They began to work on their essays after that, and if Iwaizumi noticed the way Tōru kept looking at him, he didn’t say anything about it. 

———

Tōru hated the cold. 

Even though it meant he could bring out his winter wardrobe again, it always left his knee aching in the worst way. 

It left him breathless and tired, and he hated it. He hated the way he had to stop practicing his serve more often so he could rub at his knee. He hated how he had to stop jumping or risk a greater injury. 

He dragged his forearm across his forehead to dispel the beads of sweat forming there, biting his lip as he looked at the other side of the net. The gym was littered with volleyballs, and yet not a single one of them had hit the water bottle he’d placed as a target. 

“Oikawa.” 

Tōru squeezed his eyes shut, letting out a long breath. “Iwa-chan.”

“It’s been long enough. Can we go home now?”

Tōru straightened up. When he had told the rest of his team that he was going to lock up the gym, they thought nothing of it. He was the team captain, after all, even though coach Irihata or Iwaizumi usually locked up. 

Only Iwaizumi stayed with him, maybe because he and Tōru walked home together, or maybe because he knew everything about Tōru and how he liked to overwork himself. Either way, Iwaizumi stayed, and Tōru felt bad about keeping him away from home. That was the only reason he agreed to leave. 

After they took quick showers and changed back into their regular clothes, they began their walk home. It was dark and their breaths puffed out in front of them. Tōru shivered, breathing warmth into his hands before he rubbed them up and down his arms. 

“Cold?” Iwaizumi asked. 

“No,” replied Tōru. 

“Liar,” said Iwaizumi. “I told you to bring an extra jacket. You know how the weather fluctuates this time of year.” 

“What are you, Iwa-chan, my mom?” 

Iwaizumi responded with the same glare that Tōru received the first time he said that to him. Tōru gave him a small smile before he resumed trying to generate heat. Iwaizumi sighed, pulling his jacket off. “Here, dumbass.” 

Tōru stared at it with wide eyes before he took it. “Iwa-chan?” 

“I’m not that cold,” Iwaizumi mumbled, his cheeks and ears pink. 

The same way Iwaizumi could tell when Tōru was lying, Tōru was able to tell when Iwaizumi was lying. He draped the jacket over his shoulders, stepping closer to Iwaizumi so he could drape the jacket across him, too.

“What are you doing, Trashykawa?” 

Tōru wrinkled his nose. “Can’t you come up with something cuter to call me? That’s so unflattering.”

“You’re unflattering, Stupidkawa,” Iwaizumi said, tugging the jacket over his shoulders. It was awkward, since Tōru was a few inches taller than him, but they made it work. They walked in silence for a couple more minutes, until Tōru winced after having to walk up a small hill. 

“Oikawa.” 

Tōru wouldn’t look at Iwaizumi. “Iwa-chan.”

“Is your knee bothering you?”

“No.”

“Liar. Sit down.”

Tōru frowned at him but sat on the curb as instructed. Iwaizumi sat next to him, pressing their sides together. He gently grabbed Tōru’s leg and pulled it into his lap, rubbing small soothing circles on either side of Tōru’s knee. “You don’t have to do this, you know,” Tōru told him. 

“Shut up,” said Iwaizumi. Then, after a few beats of silence, “come home with me.”

“I have to get to my own home, Iwa-chan.”

“My parents are out of town this weekend, and your parents have never had a problem with you staying at my house on weekends,” said Iwaizumi, and Tōru hated how he was right. He just didn’t want to go to Iwaizumi’s house because he didn’t want the feelings that would come with it. 

“Okay,” Tōru finally said, because he was weak and he was selfish. Iwaizumi relaxed next to him, and Tōru hasn’t realized how tense he’d been until then. “But only if you make me breakfast and give me more massages like this.”

Iwaizumi scowled. “Ugh. Fine.” 

Tōru gave him a grin, one that was a little too big but genuine in its efforts to be genuine. “C’mon, Iwa-chan! I’m cold!” 

Iwaizumi sighed and stood up, offering his hand to Tōru. He took it, and Iwaizumi hauled him to his feet. They walked the rest of the short distance to the Iwaizumi’s house after Tōru texted his mother and let him know that’s where he’d be staying, and she responded with an affirmation. It was dark inside the house since they were the first ones home, and Iwaizumi didn’t bother with turning on all the lights. Instead, they ate a quick dinner in the kitchen before they went upstairs to Iwaizumi’s room. 

Iwaizumi dug through his drawers and threw Tōru’s clothes at him. Tōru started keeping extra clothes at Iwaizumi’s house ever since he had that growth spurt at the end of middle school and could no longer fit into Iwaizumi’s clothes. 

They changed in silence. Tōru was aware that some people would think it was weird that they changed together, but after changing in the locker rooms with each other for so long, all awkwardness was erased. 

Well, almost erased; it was present in the way Tōru couldn’t tear his eyes away from Iwaizumi’s naked back now that they were in the safe privacy of his bedroom, and it was present in the way Iwaizumi stiffened and stopping pulling his shirt over his head when he felt Tōru’s stare bore into him. 

Tōru quickly looked away, feeling shame eat at his insides and color his skin red. 

Iwaizumi snorted. “You never were subtle, Trashykawa.”

Tōru wrinkled his nose. “Cuter nickname, Iwa-chan. The girls will stop fawning over me if you keep it up.” 

Iwaizumi stiffened before he shrugged and plopped onto his bed, and Tōru was both pleased and mortified to see that Iwaizumi had decided to leave his shirt off. “Good. Maybe then you’ll stop being late to everything. Besides, you have me. That’s all the attention you need.”

“I’m never late,” Tōru told him, feeling a spike of happiness at Iwaizumi’s subtle jealously. 

“You were late to practice yesterday.”

“I was being held up.” 

“Oh yeah? By what?”

Tōru scowled, irritated that he’d been held up by a girl confessing and how that just proved Iwaizumi’s point. 

Iwaizumi huffed a laugh. “Stupid Oikawa. What’d you tell her?” 

Tōru snorted. “No, of course. How could she compete with my Iwa-chan?” his tone was teasing, testing the waters. He didn’t know where he and Iwaizumi stood in their relationship, and he didn’t want to risk ruining whatever fragile thing they had. 

Iwaizumi was silent for the rest of the time Tōru took to change, and Tōru felt dread settle in his belly. Had he messed up by saying that so blatantly? He was a flirt, everyone knew, but he’d never said something so brazen to Iwaizumi before. 

Tōru hesitantly turned around, cold dread nipping at his fingers and toes. He expected to see a scowling Iwaizumi. He expected to hear the words _on second thought, why don’t you go home?_

Instead, he was met with a blushing Iwaizumi who had the largest, goofiest grin on his face and who was trying to hide it with his pillow. Tōru almost gasped at the sight, pulling out his phone and snapping a photo with lightning speed. The things Iwaizumi could do to his heart probably wasn’t healthy. 

“Come here,” Iwaizumi said, patting the spot on the bed next to him. 

Tōru raised an eyebrow, but he crawled into bed with Iwaizumi nevertheless. The bed wasn’t big enough for the both of them now that they were both long and grown, but they were able to fit if they pressed up against each other. 

And that’s exactly what they did. Iwaizumi placed himself a couple inches above Tōru so Tōru was able to comfortably rest his head on Iwaizumi’s chest. Their legs tangled with each other, and Tōru hesitated wrapping an arm around Iwaizumi’s waist before he caved. His heart was beating so fast his whole body was moving with it, and he felt like there was a frog in his mouth. The only other time he ever felt like this was during the Karasuno match. He was surprised Iwaizumi couldn’t feel it. 

“What’s got you so nervous, Tōru?” 

Oh. Well, scratch that. 

“Nothing,” Tōru responded, but his voice sounded shaky and weak to his own ears. 

“Are you okay?” 

“I’m fine, Iwa-chan,” said Tōru, wiggling closer. “Just cold.”

“Hmm. Well, sit up for a second so I can grab a blanket.”

Tōru did as he was told, and then a few moments later they were snuggled under the blanket. Iwaizumi pulled Tōru’s right leg up so it was bent over his hips, and he began to run slow circles on it to soothe it. It was disgustingly domestic and sweet and _relationship_ - _like_ that Tōru was unable to relax, no matter how great it felt. They’d never done anything like this before. Sure, they’d kiss and make out and touch each other, but they never cuddled. Not like this, at least. Their cuddles were always short and always led to something more. 

They never fell asleep in each other’s arms. 

“Iwa-chan?” 

“Hmm?” Iwaizumi hummed, his breath suddenly picking up. He’d been on the brink of falling asleep, and Tōru suddenly felt bad for waking him. This was something they needed to talk about, though. Fuck not wanting to upset the balance of their fragile relationship. Tōru wasn’t sure his heart could handle whatever this was anymore. 

He sat up, disentangling himself from Iwaizumi. This got the spiker to awaken fully, who sat up himself and gave Tōru a perplexed look. 

“What is it, Tōru?” he asked. Tōru shivered with the use of his given name; it wasn’t like he and Iwaizumi never used them with each other, but it was rare as it was something they only used for serious or special occasions. 

“What are we doing?” Tōru asked, and Iwaizumi gaped at him. 

“What do you mean?” 

“I mean, _what_ are we doing? What’s this game we’re playing?”

Iwaizumi looked proper confused. “Game? What are you talking about?”

Now Tōru was frustrated. “I’m talking about this… _thing_ between us! How we touch and snuggle and kiss! This isn’t something friends do! I don’t want to keep doing this!” 

Iwaizumi sucked in a breath, blinking rapidly. “You… don’t?” he asked, voice uncharacteristically small. 

“No. I don’t want to keep this friends-with-benefits thing going. I am more. I _deserve_ more.” 

Iwaizumi’s lip quivered and Tōru felt horrified at what he’d done. His fingers twitched like they wanted to reach out to Iwaizumi of their own accord, but he stopped them. Iwaizumi let out a shuddering breath, pressing the heels of his hands into his eyes. “Friends-with-benefits?” 

“Yeah. That’s what we are, idiot,” Tōru said, crossing his arms with a frown. 

“Oh,” Iwaizumi said, his eyes wide. He turned around, facing the wall with his back to Tōru. 

“What the hell are you doing, Iwa-chan?” Tōru said, grabbing Iwaizumi’s shoulder and trying to force him to turn around. He wouldn’t budge. 

“I was just under the impression that we were something more than friends-with-benefits. I’ll stop, then.” 

Tōru’s heart stuttered while his mind raced. “What?” he asked, hating how breathless his voice sounded. 

“I said I’ll stop, since that’s what you want.” 

“No, you said-“

“I know what I said! Just forget it, okay?” Iwaizumi said, but Tōru didn’t miss the way his voice broke or the way his shoulders shook. 

“What did you think we were?” Tōru pushed. 

“It’s not important.”

“It’s important to me.” 

“I thought we were dating, okay?!” Iwaizumi snapped. “I thought- it doesn’t matter now.” 

Tōru couldn’t breathe, but this time it was because he was so elated. “I want to.” 

Iwaizumi stiffened, and this time he let himself be turned around when Tōru grabbed his shoulder. “What?”

“I want to be dating.” 

The way Iwaizumi turned red was almost enough to make up for any sadness Tōru felt minutes earlier. “What the hell, Oikawa?! You can’t just say that!”

“Well, why not? You were the one who thought we were dating!” 

“Okay, and?! That’s embarrassing!” 

Tōru grinned, grabbing Iwaizumi’s hands in his before he pressed kisses to them. “Be my boyfriend, Iwa-chan. For real this time.”

Iwaizumi gave him a long look with wide eyes and blushing cheeks before he nodded. “Okay, dumbass.” 

Tōru beamed, sheepish with how much he was smiling. He leaned forward, letting his head rest on Iwaizumi’s shoulder. 

“I like you so much,” he mumbled into Iwaizumi’s skin, because now they were dating and Iwaizumi was his boyfriend and he was allowed to say those things. 

Iwaizumi sighed in a relaxed way. “I like you, too, idiot. Hey, now that you actually know we’re dating, does this mean you’re going to get more affectionate?”

Tōru furrowed his eyebrows. “What do you mean?”

“Before, you weren’t very affectionate. You didn’t let me touch you in public and you didn’t like it if I touched you for too long. You always withdrew.”

Tōru felt himself heating up, mortification setting fire to his nervous system. “Shut up! I only did that because I was trying to protect my poor, pining heart! Of course I’m going to be affectionate now, bastard! I’m going to be the most affectionate boyfriend ever, you’ll get sick of me!”

Iwaizumi laughed, the action rumbling through his body and making it shake. Tōru loved the way he could feel it, loved the way he could hear it in his chest. “Okay, Tōru.”

Tōru huffed a breath into Iwaizumi’s shoulder. “Whatever. What’s your excuse?”

“My excuse?” questioned Iwaizumi. 

“Yeah. Why were you always so gentle with me? How come you never kissed me hard enough to leave a mark?” Tōru asked, suddenly feeling very childish because of it. 

“I thought you didn’t like it! I tried before and you stopped me!”

“Because I thought we were friends-with-benefits!”

“Idiot! Oikawa, you idiot! Why didn’t you just ask me?!” 

“Why didn’t _you_ just ask _me?!”_ Tōru responded. 

Iwaizumi was quiet, and Tōru felt a sliver of triumph. “Whatever,” Iwaizumi grumbled, fueling Tōru’s satisfaction. “We both need to work on our communication.” 

“Okay,” Tōru said. “Can we snuggle right now, though?”

Iwaizumi gave him a grin, and Tōru couldn’t believe he was such an idiot to keep himself aching and suffering all because he didn’t think Iwaizumi returned his feelings and couldn’t muster up the courage to ask in case he was wrong. 

“Of course we can,” Iwaizumi said, and they settled back under the covers, with Tōru’s head on Iwaizumi’s chest. Their legs tangled up and Tōru wrapped his arms around Iwaizumi’s torso, and Tōru thought that this was what happiness felt like. 

They fell asleep like that, wrapped up in each other’s arms and pressing sleepy kisses into each other’s bare skin. 

And if they returned to practice on Tuesday morning covered in suspicious bruises, that was no one’s business but theirs.

**Author's Note:**

> thank u for reading love u


End file.
